This is Part I that I wrote earlier tonight. It’s best to read Part I before reading Part II, but it’s not necessary. I promise you I will return to the subject of my mojo by the end of this entry.
Another thing that came up in my last therapy session was how the hell am I going to be self-supporting? I talked about doing editing, which is fine. However, I’m not sure it’s the only thing I want to be doing. She mentioned…first, a little background. I have a thing for bartender. I have no idea why this is, but it’s become an inside joke with my friends. If I mention I find someone cute in a bar, my friend will inevitably say, “The bartender!” Anyway, my therapist and I were talking about my thought of being a barista/server ten years ago. She said, “You should bartend.” I thought she was half-joking, but she really wasn’t. She said my affinity for bartenders is what made her think of it, but then it actually made sense.
My immediate thought was, “I can’t fucking do that.” It was immediately followed by the thought, “Why not?” I confess that my immediate reaction had to do with the reaction I imagined from my parents if I told them my decision. However, this is something really common in families where someone wants to do something artistic for a living. Parents are rarely supportive of these endeavors for various reasons. My therapist pointed out that I had to reframe the issue from, “This work is beneath me (legacy from my family’s class issues)” to “This is what people in my community do to make a living.” It’s true. Performers, artists, musicians, and writers alike have done mundane jobs in order to have a bit more freedom to pursue their creative projects.
I couldn’t have been a server/barista ten years ago. I could be a bartender today. Plus, I hear the sexual shenanigans are pretty outrageous in certain bars. I would get hit on, and I would have to deal with that. I would get to hear people’s lives stories (I tend to elicit that from people, anyway), which I could then harvest for my fiction. I could work nights and sleep days, which is my preferred sleep schedule, anyway. I don’t drink much, so it wouldn’t be a temptation in that way. I would have to deal with the noise factor, but that’s what earplugs are for.
To my amazement, by the end of the session, I was actually seriously thinking about it. My best friend, Kiki, had mentioned the idea awhile back, semi-joking, but not really joking, either. It has a lot of merit.