An open letter to Sarah Palin.
Dear Sarah,
May I call you Sarah? I feel like I know you intimately, as distasteful as that is to me. I tried my best to avoid mention of you during the election, but it proved to be futile. After all, you were purportedly running to be a heartbeat away from pressing the red button that makes the whole world go ka-blooey. Had McCain won the election, that would have been a very real and very scary possibility.
But I digress.
In the months since your resounding defeat, you have whined about how mistreated you’ve been by the dreaded media, by those crazy lefty socialists, by John McCain and his camp, and by anyone else you can blame for the defeat, except–and this is the important part, Sarah–you are the reason you got sent packing back to Alaska with your tail between your legs.
You.
You were the one who couldn’t name what papers you read when Katie Couric asked you. You were the one who couldn’t think of a single instance when John McCain ‘got all mavericky’ in the Senate. You were the one who paraded around like a living Barbie doll dressed up in all your fineries by the lecherous old men of the Republican party (or like the ex-beauty pageant participant you are), and then lied about not knowing how much they cost.
You were the one who tried to cover up Trooper-gate, per diem-gate, house refurbishing-gate (from now on, known as pulling a Ted Stevens), and all the other gates progressive Alaskan bloggers have renumerated so plainly. (See The Mudflats for an excellent account of your ongoing skullduggery). You were the one who accused President-Elect Obama of ‘palling around with terrorists’ when your very own hubby used to be a member of the Alaskan Independence Party. You were the one throwing around the term socialist, which gave a new definition to the word hypocrite seeing as the whole state of Alaska is on the dole with you gleefully holding out your hand for all the grift you can get. You were the one who incited your supporters to shout hateful things about our new president.
While I’m at it, you were the one who couldn’t even state what it was, exactly, that a vice president did. I give you a mulligan on the Bush Doctrine question because, quite frankly, who the hell knows what Bush is saying about anything, anyway? Speaking of W., did you know that when people want to put him down, they compare him to you? Same with Caroline Kennedy. You have become the nadir of politicans, not to mention the laughing stock of, well, anybody who has half a brain. In addition, you were the one who allowed Tina Fey to quote complete paragraphs from you for her biggest laughs by spouting off incomprehensible gibberish that was supposed to pass for expertise.
Who did this? You did this. You were the one who dragged your children across the country, pushing them into the spotlight as if they could shield you from the public disdain. You were the one who treated Trigg like an accessory to be dangled (and I do mean dangled) from your wrist rather than a child to be cherished. You were the one who displayed an ignorance so appalling, you actually made W. look almost competent in comparison.
You know, for a party that’s big on personal responsibility, the Republicans sure do love to shirk it. Your latest interview is yet another whine-filled screed about how poor, poor Sarah has been soooo abused by the ‘liberal media elite’. For a tough Alaskan woman, you sure are a wimp. You sound more like a junior high school girl than a grown woman. The most laughable claim you made was that if you were on the Democratic ticket, you would have been loved.
Um, no. John McCain would have been president–that’s how toxic your presence has been.
There have been many rightwingers who claim that liberal women hate you because you’re beautiful and having good sex with your hubby. Speaking as a very liberal woman, no, that is not the reason I dislike you. I dislike you because you have always used your looks and what some people consider charm to get what you want, stepping on anyone in your way. If anyone was the affirmative action candidate, it was you. The old white boys of the GOP were hoping to draw off the dissatisfied Clinton voters by throwing a woman, any woman on the ballot. The fact that they chose one as incompetent as you only underscores how much contempt they really have for women.
I would feel a scintilla (tiny, barely detectable amount) of pity for you if you showed any capacity for self-awareness because you’ve been pimped out by the Republican Party. However, since you continue to deflect any kind of criticism with a petulant pout firmly fixed onto your face, and since you continue to pimp yourself out instead of, well, governing the poor state of Alaska as you should, I will keep my sympathy to myself. It would only go to waste on you.
Please, if you really want to do what’s best for your party and your country, shut the hell up and go do the job you were elected to do.
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