I am exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. My sleep has been even more sporadic than usual, and I even when I get sleep, it doesn’t make me feel refreshed. I know it’s because as my therapist said, I’m doing some fucking heavy psychological work here. No, she didn’t say fucking, but she implied it,… Continue Reading
Category Archives: Family and/or Relationships
The Long Hard Road
The visit from my father is over. It was really difficult to get through, but it wasn’t impossible. Until the airport and dropping him off. I will get to that in a minute. The night I went to get him, he arrived around 11:30. We got home after midnight. We chatted some, and then I… Continue Reading
Not Going Out Like That
So. I took a nap today. That’s not unusual as I try to grab sleep whenever I can. The boys love it because they can sleep with me or on me or near me. Since I don’t let them in my bedroom, this is a treat, indeed. I don’t even mind (much) waking up to… Continue Reading
Do.Not.Want.
My father is coming home for four days in early September. My mom emailed me the info tonight, and I don’t know what to do with it. To top it off, his favorite sister just passed, and they aren’t sure when they are having the funeral. Which means that he will be raw from the… Continue Reading
The Summer of My Discontent
You know all that shit I wrote earlier about making progress and whatnot? Yeah, you can throw that shit right out the window. I am constantly spiraling down my vortex of self-loathing, and I am pretty much going along for the ride. Remember the sitting of the kids I did Friday night? Yeah, well,… Continue Reading
Confessions of a Shitty Mom*
For one night, that is. My mom and I are babysitting my nephews, and they are sleeping over. Right now, she is telling them a story, and then they are going to bed. She went to pick them up around two and brought them home around four. We played downstairs for a bit, then they… Continue Reading
My Destination Unknown
As longtime readers of this blog know, I am a bit of a control freak. OK, OK, I am a HUGE control freak. In the past, I have made my world small enough so I felt it was manageable (look, honey, I shrunk my life!). The illusion of control was just that, an illusion, but… Continue Reading
Getting Off the Merry-Go-Round
Things have been interesting in the Hong household lately. It started with that one little no to my mother–actually, it started with her letter to me before she came back, and it really started with my letter to her in return. Then, it continued with me insisting that we define our working relationship. If she… Continue Reading
Not Your Average Father’s Day Greeting Card
Ed. Note: This is a Father’s Day post only in name only. There will be no praising my father or talking about how great he is or how I wish I could hug him right now. In other words, this is not a Father’s Day post at all. I did not send my father a… Continue Reading
Just Say No
No. Can you say the word no out loud? Easy, isn’t it? No. Two letters. It’s a very useful word. I can use it in just about every capacity except one–I have a really hard time saying no to my family. Well, really, I have a hard time saying no to anyone, but especially… Continue Reading