I hate Valentine’s Day. I hate the whole idea, and I hate the stupid commercials. Now, I must confess that I hate holidays in general, so it’s no big shock that I hate VD, but there’s a little more gusto to my hatred of this fake-holiday than of any other. For one, if you are in a het relationship, there is this idea that the man is supposed to dazzle the woman with a big, showy expression of his love. It could be flowers; it could be candy; it could be jewelry–but a combination of all three is the best. Oh, don’t forget the thoughtful card, the cute plushie, and the romantic dinner as well.
It’s a crock of shit, and it’s always guaranteed to disappoint. It’s like a wedding itself–there are just too many expectations to ever possibly be met. Women tend to use the day as a gauge to how their men really feel about them–much to the detriment of the relationship.
It didn’t matter if I was in a relationship or if I wasn’t–I wanted no part of the day. In addition, it’s another day that glorifies heterosexual couples–and really, I don’t need to see any more of that.
Although, chocolates and stuffed animals are always welcomed. I will take those any time.
However, a year or two ago, I began to realize that I was spitting in the wind, so to speak. Valentine’s Day will be around. In addition, even though it is promoted as a day to celebrate heterosexual coupling, I don’t have to take it as such. I mean, when have I ever played by the rules?
So, I started to think about love in a broader context. Whom do I love? I love my family. I love my friends. I love my cats. I love chocolate. I love the color black. There is plenty of love around me–if I don’t restrict it to the narrow usage of male/female romantic coupling relationship-type thing.
So, to that end, I am going to call my parents on Valentine’s Day to tell them how much I love and appreciate them. I am going to send e-cards to all my friends–even those who do not open e-cards. I will buy some extra salmon for the boys because they have given me so much joy since they’ve come home to me. I will call my niece and nephews just to tell them I love them. Finally, I will enjoy the cold, snowy, winter day and buy myself some extra-fine, extra-dark, wheat-free, dairy-free chocolate treats because I deserve it.
I won’t be wearing pink, though. I’ll stick to black.
And, I love this entry!
Actually, I will be adding on to it! Love.
You are not alone! I totally agree with all you say about the “fake holiday” and all it’s appendages. But my husband gets furious (and not only because the French have imported this totally anglo-Saxon/American holiday for only commercial reasons) every time it rolls around. He is furious that someone dare dictate to him when he can or should tell me that he loves me and in what way he should be expressing his love. Why can’t we show our love everyday? And there are a gazillion little and big ways to show it, too. Yes, i am touched that people think of me on this day, but I don’t need this day to either express my love or feel the love coming from family and friends.
Right on, Jamie. You tell your hubby to fight the power and to show his love for you every day.