My New Life’s Resolution

All right.  Sit back, relax, grab a pop or a cup of coffee because this is gonna take some time.  Yesterday, I told you I found the meaning of MY life.  It has been a slow road, to be sure, but I have finally made it to this point.  A month ago, I outlined 7 goals in my life.  Here is that post.  At that time, I had listed them in no particular order.  Now, I will.

1. Performing/writing.
2. Losing fifty pounds.
3. Being gainfully employed.
4. Get into politics.

Different goals:

1. Lots of really hot sex.
2. Dating.*

Now, let’s break it down.

Obviously, performing and acting make the top of my list.  I say performing rather than acting because I want to open to a variety of different venues when it comes to being on the stage.  I used to believe that if I didn’t make it to the Gutherie (top local theater), then I was a failure.  Hey, my dearest fantasies have to do with winning a Pulitzer Prize for my genre-breaking contemporary fiction novel about a bi Taiwanese American woman who becomes the 45th President of the United States (or a Booker–yeah, I know I’m not British, but I think they’re hawt, so that counts, right?), a Tony for my turn as Satine in the Broadway adaption of Moulin Rouge or as Joanne in Rent, an Oscar for my performance as the gritty, sex-addicted ex-nun who flees to hike the Appalachian trail with a hot Argentinian woman, and a Tony for my original screenplay for my musical of the trials and travails of a bi Taiwanese American woman in her quest for love.  Don’t laugh.  I started the musical during last year’s Script Frenzy, and I plan on finishing it one day.

My dearest wish has been to perform on Broadway.  I can dance, and I have a decent singing voice.  When I saw Chicago on Broadway, I was entranced.  It’s not the best musical in the world, but it didn’t matter.  It was fucking Broadway, baby.  I was watching a Broadway musical.  I wanted to be up on stage so badly, I could almost taste it.

For reasons unknown to me and to anyone who knows me, I’m fascinated with musical theatre.  Now, why do I say it’s unfathomable?  Because I am the last person who should be swayed by cheesy scripts, people randomly bursting out into song, and JAZZ HANDS!  When I watch a movie, I grimace if the plot isn’t plausible.  I wince if I notice an actor has a certain tic.  I direct the movie in my head and how it should proceed.  If I am especially bored, I notice continuity problems such as someone wearing a different shirt during the same scene.

I hate happy endings.  I hate romantic comedies (at least, I hate American ones).  I hate it when things happen just for the sake of things happening.  In short, I am not a big fan of American movies in general.

Why, then, would I be drawn to musicals which, as I have stated, are cheesy, overblown, campy, and all that good stuff?  The answer?  JAZZ HANDS!  No, it’s, fuck if I know!

All I know is that while I like all kinds of performance, I adore musicals.  I suppose I’ll just have to consider it a not-so-guilty indulgence and go with it.  I love it and want to be involved in it, so fair warning my local friends–you’re gonna have to suck it up and go in order to support me.

As for writing, my brother set up my fiction website today using Drupal (open source), and I am so damn excited.  I’m going to have proper serials that you can only read chapter by chapter, day by day.   I intend to ask for submissions from other people.  My mission for it will be:  I only accept pieces that I like.

That’s it?  Yes, that’s it.  It’s really what it boils down to for all literary magazines, except they like to gussy things up with the use of phrases such as ‘literary constructs’, ‘overarching themes’ and other such pretty words.  Me, if I like it, I’ll publish it.  Again, it’s all about me, darlings.  I write for many reasons including because I believe that there aren’t many voices like mine, but the main reason I write is because it’s fucking fun for me.  Here I am, gazing at my navel, and I have people reading about it!  That’s fucking excellent.

I have to take a minute to give myself a little pat on the back here.  I have wanted to start a blog for the longest time.  Years, in fact.  However, I have always been afraid of putting my shit out there for people to read.  “What if nobody reads it?”  “What if people hate it?”  “What if my family hates me for it?”  I let the doubts inhibit me for a long time.  When I finally started blogging, I refused to tell anyone about it at first.  Oh, I know, that defeats the purpose of blogging, but I needed to do it just for me at first.

Then, I posted a link on my FB page.  I have under a hundred friends, so that was fairly safe.  Still, I felt a little thrill when I noticed that someone had posted a comment on my blog.  Yes, I’ve gotten a few trolls, including on a movie review entry I did (Alan Rickman movie, bitchez!), but I haven’t gotten the really nasty ones yet.

Still, I was wary.  My shit is not for the meek.  In fact, I suggested to my brother that he block my site from my niece for now.  I mean, she’s eleven.  I don’t think what I write is appropriate for an eleven year old, and it’s my writing!  Anyway, I knew that my stuff was dark, twisted, freaky, and definitely not for primetime viewing.   I was after-hours reading material, preferably with the lights off.  If I were a movie, I would be rated NC-17.

However, I got a few requests over at Balloon Juice for my blog URL.  I hesitated, but I said that anyone from BJ should be able to find my blog if s/he really tried.  I mean, the damn thing is in my own name.  My handle on the blog is asiangrrlMN.  I talk about being bi and my unnatural lust for Alan Rickman.

My fake hubby found me with that info, and it was a nice surprise to see him post on my blog (one of my epic depression posts).  After a few more weeks, I was ready.  I posted my URL in my name, and I got random hits from BJers.  It’s been so fun to see them wander over here and comment.

Now that I have a loyal, hardy, and raucous following, I feel confident enough to tackle my next daunting task:  my fiction website.  Because I am going to be focusing more on my fiction (and building that website from scratch), I might not be blogging as often.  That’s just a heads up warning to y’all.  Then again, I’ve been having a lot of fun blogging, so I might sacrifice some FB time in order to do my fiction website, my fiction writing, and my blog at the same time.

Wow.  I covered number one, and I’m already nearing 1,300 words.  You know the drill.  Come back tomorrow for the next installment of As Minna’s World Turns.  I guarantee it’ll be worth it, or your money back.

*Note to Kiki, notice that a romantic relationship does not show up anywhere on either list.