Since whabs is grumbling about her friends not blogging and saying we suck, I decided I would do a quick random post just for her. There, whabs. Now you can’t say I’ve never done anything for you.
How am I? Fucking sick, thank you very much. For any guys who are reading and who don’t want to hear about female troubles, go away. If you read on, no bitching about the following anecdote, got it? I’ll put a bold sentence at the start of where you can begin reading again if you are squeamish.
FINAL WARNING: Girl talk ahead!
Ok. Ladies, talk to me here. How many of you have had yeast infections? I haven’t. Until now. Apparently, one common side effect of Amoxi is a yeast infection. I did not know this. So, Wednesday night, I was emailing Kel. I said I had an embarrassing question to ask her. I described the symptoms, and she said, “Yeast infection. Common with amoxi.” Oh, really? You would think they would tell me that so I could factor that into my decision-making process. Of course, my next question was, “Well, WTF do I do about it?” Her reply? Apply plain, unsweetened yogurt, preferably organic, topically.”
WTF? Come again? I was sure she was shitting me, but apparently not. I wished I had asked her earlier in the day, before I ran to the co-op, but no. Instead, at eight-thirty, the night before Thanksgiving, I had to run out to Cub to buy a tub of plain, unsweetened yogurt. They didn’t have organic. When I got back, I checked with Kel again to make sure she wasn’t shitting me. She wasn’t. She had sent me a link touting this very cure. It has to do with the restoration of the natural flora and fauna, er, bacteria in the vaginal area.
Hoo-kay. I took a deep breath, scooped up two fingerfuls of yogurt, and shoved it up my pussy. It was fucking cold! Kel laughed and said I could warm it to room temp, but I kind of liked the coldness. It was soothing. I asked her how often I could do this, and she said as often as I liked. So, for the past few days, I have been shoving yogurt up my pussy every few hours. I get the same jolt every time, and let me tell you, it’s not the kind of action I prefer to have in my pussy.
I joked with my friends that I was going to change my FB status to: Minna Hong is shoving yogurt up her pussy. It is cold and creamy.
I decided, however, that even for me, that was too much to post on FB. Besides, I probably would have been banned for that, especially if I provided a visual aid.
OK, guys. You can come back and start reading again.
Do you want to know the worst part? The amoxi isn’t helping this time. My sinuses still hurt, and my coughing is getting worse. I have a slight temp, and I’m vacillating between hot and cold. I ache. I’m tired. I have personal shit I would rather not face. I have work I need to do. I have NaNoWriMo words to write. I also have a real doctor’s appointment on Monday for my yearly and my thyroid check-up, so I will see what she has to say about my symptoms. I am pretty sure it’s now just bronchial shit on top of the sinus infection, but we shall see what the professional has to say about it.
NaNoWriMo: I am struggling to meet my personal goal of 7,500 words a day. I know I should be happy I have 177,054 as of right now and that I have a shot to make it to 200,000, but I am still slightly disappointed in myself. Why the fuck did I have to get sick now? It just blows chunks. Fortunately, I have not. Blown chunks, that is.
Oh, and Vienna Teng is a goddess. She is Taiwanese-American like me. This is my new personal theme song. It’s called My Medea. Please ignore the video as it’s just some random picture.
I will be back after NaNoWriMo is done and/or I feel better. Or something. Whenever. It’s my blog. I’ll be back when I’m back.