I want it all. After so many years of denying I want anything, that statement is a little frightening. Scratch that. That statement is a whole lotta frightening. I was raised to believe that I shouldn’t want anything. I am given what I’m given, and that is that. It’s partly Asian culture. It’s partly sexism… Continue Reading
Category Archives: Personal Life
The Ugly Truth
It’s my father’s birthday today. Or rather, it’s the day recorded as his birth. October 1st. His parents didn’t really know when he was born, so that’s the date they picked to put on his records. I had forgotten about it until approximately ten minutes ago, and then I thought about what to do. Normally,… Continue Reading
Dismantling Illusions
I am exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. My sleep has been even more sporadic than usual, and I even when I get sleep, it doesn’t make me feel refreshed. I know it’s because as my therapist said, I’m doing some fucking heavy psychological work here. No, she didn’t say fucking, but she implied it,… Continue Reading
The Long Hard Road
The visit from my father is over. It was really difficult to get through, but it wasn’t impossible. Until the airport and dropping him off. I will get to that in a minute. The night I went to get him, he arrived around 11:30. We got home after midnight. We chatted some, and then I… Continue Reading
Shaken, and Stirred
I just finished Stieg Larsson’s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Warning, if you have not read the book and are planning to read it, I am going to include spoilers in this post. Huh. I just read on Wiki that the original title in Swedish is Men Who Hate Women–which is a much more… Continue Reading
Shining a Little Light
OK. As some people have pointed out in the comment section, I don’t say much nice about myself. This is true. I have always been more comfortable with my negatives than my positives for many reasons. However, even before reading <b>morzer’s</b> first comment today, I had been mulling over my next blog entry, this blog… Continue Reading
I’m Just a Girl
OK. I got thoughts about feminism, being a woman, being girly, and related things, and I need to share them. They are pretty jumbled at this point, so bear with me as I untangle the threads. It started yesterday as I was sitting in my therapist’s room waiting for my appointment. I will get to… Continue Reading
Not Going Out Like That
So. I took a nap today. That’s not unusual as I try to grab sleep whenever I can. The boys love it because they can sleep with me or on me or near me. Since I don’t let them in my bedroom, this is a treat, indeed. I don’t even mind (much) waking up to… Continue Reading
Do.Not.Want.
My father is coming home for four days in early September. My mom emailed me the info tonight, and I don’t know what to do with it. To top it off, his favorite sister just passed, and they aren’t sure when they are having the funeral. Which means that he will be raw from the… Continue Reading
The Summer of My Discontent
You know all that shit I wrote earlier about making progress and whatnot? Yeah, you can throw that shit right out the window. I am constantly spiraling down my vortex of self-loathing, and I am pretty much going along for the ride. Remember the sitting of the kids I did Friday night? Yeah, well,… Continue Reading