Music note: I told a musical friend that I liked Trent Reznor and Lords of Acid and asked for his recommendations. After commenting that I liked “electrofuckpervsleaze”, which, I had never heard before but immediately dubbed perfect, he suggested VNV Nation. Illusion was the first vid to pop up on YouTube, and I was hooked… Continue Reading
The Reckoning, Part II
This is Part I that I wrote earlier tonight. It’s best to read Part I before reading Part II, but it’s not necessary. I promise you I will return to the subject of my mojo by the end of this entry. Another thing that came up in my last therapy session was how the hell… Continue Reading
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, Part I
As Rob M. noted in the last entry, I haven’t posted in awhile. And, while my mom was here, I posted less frequently than I normally do. There is a reason for that. Though my mom and I have made great strides in our way of relating with each other, there is still a… Continue Reading
The Summer of My Discontent
You know all that shit I wrote earlier about making progress and whatnot? Yeah, you can throw that shit right out the window. I am constantly spiraling down my vortex of self-loathing, and I am pretty much going along for the ride. Remember the sitting of the kids I did Friday night? Yeah, well,… Continue Reading
Listening to the Demons’ Song
Do you ever have one of those days where you just HATE everything about yourself? Well, I am having one of those days. First of all, I have to say, coming out of depression is hard fucking work. I always feel like I have to watch myself for any signs of incipient depression in… Continue Reading
The Space In-Between
I have always been a black and white kinda gal. Or, if I am going to be completely honest, I’ve always been a black and blacker kinda gal. In my world, you were friend or you were foe. You were with me or you were against me. Binary thinking? Oh, hell, yeah. I had… Continue Reading
Confessions of a Shitty Mom*
For one night, that is. My mom and I are babysitting my nephews, and they are sleeping over. Right now, she is telling them a story, and then they are going to bed. She went to pick them up around two and brought them home around four. We played downstairs for a bit, then they… Continue Reading
My Destination Unknown
As longtime readers of this blog know, I am a bit of a control freak. OK, OK, I am a HUGE control freak. In the past, I have made my world small enough so I felt it was manageable (look, honey, I shrunk my life!). The illusion of control was just that, an illusion, but… Continue Reading
Lady of the Evening
In another life, I would have been a concubine who had nothing to do but think of ways to sexually satisfy her master. In another life, I would have been a geisha, taught seventy-six ways to please a man without even touching him. In another life, I would have been the last wife, the one… Continue Reading
Getting Off the Merry-Go-Round
Things have been interesting in the Hong household lately. It started with that one little no to my mother–actually, it started with her letter to me before she came back, and it really started with my letter to her in return. Then, it continued with me insisting that we define our working relationship. If she… Continue Reading