Viva La Revolution du The! (With the Appropriate Accents)

tea bagOk.  I tried to be above the fray that is the teabaggin’ parties, but I cannot.  Why?  First of all, I want my tea back!  Tea is a wonderful beverage that warms you up on a cold, MN winter night (sniff, bye winter), and it is unfairly being usurped by the right to further their inchoate cause.  

I am Asian!  Give me back my tea, you scumbags!  Besides, the original BOSTON (not American) Tea Party was in protest of the British taxing the colonists when the colonists had no representation in the Parliament.  In other words, taxation without representation.  In the current invocation of Tea Parties, however, they Teabaggers are protesting, well, um, I’m not exactly sure what they are protesting.

President Obama’s higher tax rates!  Except, he cut taxes for 95% of Americans.  In addition, he did not raise taxes on the other 5%, he merely let the Bush taxcuts expire.  Now, that particular tax rate is the same as it was under Clinton.  In addition, it is 10% lower than it was under that great Communist leader, Ronald Reagan.  So, we can dismiss higher tax rates as a legitimate concern.

President Obama is bailing out the banks with OUR money!  Except, the bailout was passed under the LAST president.  Obama has nothing to do with the current bailout.  

President Obama is ripping off our children and grandchildren!  Except, the massive deficit/debt/negative money flow started under Bush (the Younger).  It skyrocketed when Bush decided to invade Iraq to protect our oil interests.  However, he never put the military spending of the two wars into the yearly budget, so now, it looks as if Obama is spending way more than Bush (and yes, ‘way more’ is a technical term) because Obama included the monies spent in Iraq and Afghanistan as part of the budget.

Am I worried about our deficit?  Hell, yeah.  It’s not comfortable seeing a number in the trillions and knowing that it’s only going to climb.  However, it is more than a little disingenious for the Teabaggers to be protesting the deficit now when none of them did so under Bush.  Worse, the left was basically told to support the president or shut the fuck up.  It was considered almost treasonous to disagree with Bush, and yet, today, we have the governor of Texas talking about secession.  Seriously.  The governor of Texas advocates for secession.  No, no, he doesn’t.  His people might, but he doesn’t.  But he’s going to keep mentioning it.    He was against the stimulus.  Until it became excruciatingly clear how idiotic that was.  Then he was for it, but only if he could use it to pay for things that would have had to have been paid for, anyway.  WTF?   Then, he evokes the Tenth Amendment because he believes the federal government has overstepped its boundaries.  Oh, but he just asked the feds for troops to patrol the border.  

Washington Monthly helpfully points out another blogger who explains that the Teabaggers are protesting an indeterminate tax hike some time in the indeterminate future.   Read the section entitled, “With an Eye on the Future”.  This, too, is a bunch of bollocks.

May I politely speak to the Teabaggers for a moment?  Dudes, you lost.  What we have now is taxation WITH representation, and most of you likely benefit from the new tax brackets.  Did you pay less taxes this year than last?  Did you get a refund?  Did you get your stimulus money?  If so, then I suggest you STFU or return the money.  What a bunch of fucking hypocrites.  Y’all stood by and watch Bush decimate the laws and the economy of this country.  He sank us so far into debt, I am not sure we will be out of it by the time I die.  

In addition, it would behoove you to actually have a message other than you hate Obama and black people and brown people and yellow people and the gayz and the feminazis and anyone else who doesn’t agree with you.  You have to get used to the fact that your leaders betrayed you and that you are no longer in the majority with your way of thinking.  

For god’s sake, people!  Obama has been in office for three months, and you’re already losing it.  What a bunch of wusses you are.  I lived for eight fucking years under that asswipe Bush, and that even bigger asswipe Cheney, and I didn’t get to this point until well into the second ter–no, I take that back.  I was never as crazed and incoherent as you.  

Let me tell you a little personal story.  My dad is a fierce believer in an independent Taiwan. After moving to MN to obtain his Ph.D. in economics, he really threw himself into the movement.  I remember marching the streets of Minneapolis when I was a kid, holding up signs proclaiming independence for Taiwan.  My dad was interviewed, and I remember seeing him on the teevee.  

As a result, he was blacklisted from Taiwan for over twenty years.  If he had returned, he would have been thrown into jail or killed in an ‘accident’.  He missed the funerals of both his parents because he couldn’t go back.  

Once he was allowed to return, he threw himself into the independence movement there.  He helped found the Democratic Progressive Party, and eight years ago, they elected a DPP president for the first time ever.  Unfortunately, he was a bad president, and the KMT (think GOP on steroids) reclaimed the presidency (and most of the congress) this past year.  They started throwing all the DPP leaders in jail for doing things (yes, bad things) that they themselves do ten times worse.  Sound familiar?

So.  Did my dad whine about how unfair it was after the election?  No.  Did he complain that his lifetime of work had gone down the drain?  No.  He sucked it up and moved on.  Most likely, Taiwan will be absorbed by China, maybe in his lifetime.  It must be incredibly painful to him to have to deal with all this, but he acknowledges that the KMT was democratically elected by the people.  Why?  Beause he’s a fucking patriot, man–the real kind.  

So, Teabaggers, STFU and do something productive to effect the changes you want.  And, drink some tea while you’re at it.  Chamomille.  Maybe it’ll calm you the fuck down.

In honor of Governor Perry, here is a parody of the NOM’s anti-gay marriage ad, “Gathering Storm”.  

Addendum:  I forgot to add that the Ron Paulites are miffed because apparently, they started the whole tea party thing (in protest of taxes), and they hate that it’s been co-opted by the right cabal in order to promote its (the right cabal’s) political talking points.  So, the Teabaggers are baggin’ each other.

9 Responses to Viva La Revolution du The! (With the Appropriate Accents)

  1. Go get ’em, girl! I’d like to see you in a cage match right now with one of these “tea party” idiots. You sound as though you’ve worked yourself into a nice froth.

    I think it would be a good idea to send them photos of “teabagging.”

    And I like the video.

  2. Hey, I’m willing to do a benefit where I bag the Teabaggers if the proceeds go to a good organization like the American Refugee Committee (ARC). Or else, I just want to kick them all. I still can’t believe none of them bothered to look up teabaggin’ before they announced this whole debacle.

    They really need a community organizer, don’t they?

  3. God Damn I Love you!
    That was an AWESOME post!
    I did a little rant and basically pointed out what tea bagging actually is and that the taxes people are complaining about, were Georgie’s wonders.
    I barely touched on this because I have been SO MAD at it and you summed it up beautifully!
    I have to admit, it’s really something to see how brightly their stupidity shines. Tea bagging. REALLY!?

  4. whabs, I just couldn’t take it any more. All that bitching and whining, and the underlining message is, that black man sure is uppity. I had to write something, if only so I could let off some steam.

  5. Gossip? You have gossip? Why didn’t you say so in the first place? I will be back tomorrow (today, really) with a new entry filled with self-boasting and liberal ravings. Be on the watch for it.