I Want to Fuck You Like an Animal

 

Ok, I’m getting the politics out of the way right off the bat:  I can be pissed off at AIG, Congress, the last administration, this administration, AND the American public simultaneously for the financial market fiasco that has occurred in the past thirty years.  I don’t have to limit myself to one entity or for one reason.  See, I’m talented in that I can multitask that way. 

Now, to the real story.  I am in a very bad mood.  There are several reasons for it, but a big one is because I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT SEX.  Granted, I think about it quite often, anyway, but I can’t seem to stop thinking about it.  By the way, I know I’ve posted this Nine Inch Nails video before (Closer), but it’s very appropriate to today’s topic.

Yesterday, I had lunch with Natasha.  She has gone through this already, and she was not very reassuring.  She said it consumed her until she did something about it, and it lasted for two years.  I asked how she knew it had hit, and she said she started fantasizing about having sex with someone completely unfuckable–for many reasons.  

She told me to put off saving the world until I save myself.  Why the fuck didn’t anyone ever tell me it was going to be like this?  Why is sexual peak never mentioned for women?  My hypothesis is because it’s counters the prevalent theory (still?  This bullshit still goes on?) that women don’t really like sex or want it or need it.  They do it for procreation or to be close to their partners–not because they actually want to fuck.

I have never been shy about saying that I like sex.  I like it a lot.  I am somewhat of an oddball (especially for a woman) in that I don’t romanticize sex.  I think it can be the healthy part of a meaningful relationship, don’t get me wrong, but I also think it can be a great way to pass an evening.  Or morning.  Or afternoon.  In other words, it can be purely physical.   Oh, no, I can hear the religious right exclaim.  No, no, no, it can only be had in a God-sanctioned relationship where it is pure and holy, otherwise it’s totally degrading and sinful.  

So, if you think about it, acknowledging that women might have a sexual peak means admitting that sex is a physical, instinctual drive.  It sounds silly when I put it like that, but it’s true.  

I can personally attest that it is true.  I can’t stop thinking about sex.  

Speaking of sex, I have a new political crush.  Maybe it’s partly my hormonally-enhanced state, but I think it’s also because he’s the only guy with the balls to take on AIG and other corruption.  Who is it?  Andrew Cuomo, Attorney General of NY.   He has rolled up his sleeves, and he is digging up the shit.  He is hot.  I don’t think it’s just the hormones talking, but so what if it is?  The picture to the right is of him.

While at lunch with Natasha, we were trying to decide how many of the people there would have sex with me if I asked.  Women–none.  Men?  There was a table of five men, and she said that if I approach the table, two would say yes.  If I approached them individually, I might get three or four to assent.  

How many of these men would I want to fuck?  One.  Yet, in my present state, I have to admit that I would have done up to three of the guys at that table.  This is not about attraction or a relationship.  In fact, I don’t think I could be in a relationship right now, because quite frankly, I just want to have sex with as many people as possible.   I am not the most monogamous person in the best of times, and this is not the best of times.  

Let me make this clear:  I am not looking for wining and dining, though I wouldn’t mind that being included in the deal.  I am not looking for witty banter (though if you can’t deliver that, then you better not say anything) or long walks on the beach.  I hate the feeling of sand between my toes.  I love the moonlight, but I don’t need to be with someone to gaze upon her (the moon).  I’m not asking for flowers or choco–wait, yes, I am asking for chocolate–on you so I can lick it off.  I don’t want to snuggle or cuddle, though I will if it’ll get me laid.  I just want to fuck and be fucked.

I think I just wrote my personal ad!

I can’t think.  I can’t concentrate.  I am driven by this animal need.  It’s primitive and primal, and I better do something about it–before it does something to me.

P.S.  Don’t worry, I will not be writing about this every day for the entire estrus–just until I get laid.

P.P.S.  Here is Animal Instinct by The Commodores (sans Lionel Richie).  I think it aptly sums up what I’m experiencing.  Oh, there’s no video–only audio.