Tag: movies | The World According to MEH

HP #6, 2 Disc DVD Set

Posted on April 9, 2010 by admin • 0 Comments

I got the 2 DVD Special Edition–note, why not just make them all 2 DVD sets? Seriously. I hate all this Special Edition shit–Set of the 6th Harry Potter movie. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I reviewed it here. I started with the second DVD, the one with the special features, because we all know the reason I buy the DVD set in the first place: moar Alan Rickman!

Now, I realize the stupidity of this wish because the HP movies are kids movies, thus, most of the focus is on the trio and their friends. Still, I always hope for one deleted Snape scene. Just one. That’s not too much to ask, is it? I mean, I know that Alan Rickman is perfection itself and that to delete one of his scenes would be a travesty, but really! One snippet, one quote from him, any scrap I can get.

I slog my way through the painfully unfunny behind-the-scenes shtick. The actual behind-the-scenes look is interesting, but the patter that accompanies it is cringe-worthy. I work my way through (doing my exercise, to the soundtrack of Hedwig and the Angry Inch) a grinning Tom Felton (Draco) asking his costars a variety of questions. I start the commercial for the Harry Potter theme park in Orlando (is Alan Rickman going to be there? No? Then who the fuck cares?), but since they don’t actually show the theme park, I get bored and fast-forward through it.

Finally, I watched the deleted scenes. Mostly of the kids. I am getting gloomier and gloomier as each deleted scene goes by with nary a hint of Alan Rickman. Then, in the penultimate (I think) scene, ooooooooooh! There he is! Dark, gloomy, and the light shines upon Snape, his dark eyes glittering….Will he speak? Is he going to speak? Oh, please let him—and cut to Draco. Damn!

Charlotte Sometimes–Before You See It

Posted on February 28, 2009 by admin • 0 Comments

Ed. Note: This is mostly fine to read before seeing the movie. I will indicate where you might want to stop reading if you want to watch the last ten minutes of the movie without knowing what’s going to happen.

4:44 a.m. 6/3/4/04

I have a new favorite movie, and it’s called Charlotte Sometimes. Now, you may be saying to yourself, huh? That was my reaction, too, when I saw it in the local video store, on video, mind you. I will come clean and say the only reason I rented it was because it had three and a half Asian people (one is mixed) starring in it. One of them was Jacqueline Kim whom I had seen and loved in Xena: Warrior Princess. It’s a sad commentary that I jumped on this movie without even knowing what it’s about simply because the faces on it looked like mine and because I had a crush on Jacqueline. Well, the faces were prettier than mine, but you know what I’m saying. Since I’m on this kick of not reading blurbs to movies or books, I had no idea what to expect when I popped it in the VCR.

It starts out with music and moody lighting and no dialogue. I’m intrigued from the start because of the absence of talking and of action. Most movies these days have a plethora of either or, God forbid, both, but few had a complete absence of both. I am hooked. Now, I have a disclaimer before I continue. If you are the type of person who whines, ‘There’s nothing happening in this movie’, then skip this review and this movie because it will drive you to distraction. There is no big action or even all that much dialogue, and from the low ratings it received on IMDB.com, it’s abundantly clear that most people didn’t understand this movie or more to the point, didn’t want to understand it. So again, if you need action in your movie, then pass by this gem.

Batman Begins–Before You See It

Posted on February 28, 2009 by admin • 0 Comments

Ed. Note: I labeled this a before you see it review because there aren’t many spoilers in a Hollywood blockbuster. However, if you really don’t want to know anything before watching this movie, then you may want to read this after. Consider yourself forewarned.

3:48 a.m. 7/3/4/05

j0384730 I am Batman. No, I’m not, but I did see Batman Begins last night, and in a movie theater, to boot. My favorite movie theater with its faux theatre look and organ player. I even bought a thing of popcorn, though I smuggled in my own water. I am not paying three dollars for twenty ounces of water-no way. Anyway, I went with a friend who’d already seen it but wanted to see it again. I settled in, not expecting much. Why? First of all, I knew Batman wasn’t going to die-nor anyone close to him save for his parents early on-which takes a lot of tension out of the movie. I mean, it’s hard to get too worked up when he’s in trouble knowing that he’ll make it out of there alive.

The other great thing about this theater-The Heights-is that they had two previews, no commercials, then the movie. How great is that? Unfortunately, some idiot took his daughter to the movie-eight or nine, I would say-and she wouldn’t stop talking during the movie. Most of it was asking what the hell was going on, and it got on my nerves. This isn’t a children’s movie, and it would have been better if he rented it when it came out on DVD if he wanted to show it to her. I’m one of those people who can’t block out external stimuli, so I had a hard time concentrating on the movie. I tried to block them out, but I couldn’t. What kind of example is that for a father to allow his daughter to talk during a movie? Sheesh.

Anyway, first we have THE BATS! When they fly at Bruce Wayne, the woman on the right of me nearly jumped into her man’s lap. Her jump is the best part of the movie experience, bar none. I love bats so I’m glad to see them make more than one or two appearances in the movie. Follow my thoughts during the movie.

Godspell–BEFORE You See It

Posted on February 28, 2009 by admin • 0 Comments

10:50 p.m. 5/12/06

j0175606 Ok. I like musicals. I am able to suspend my critical eye when it comes to plot, characters, etc. I don’t expect as much, narratively, as long as there is kick-ass music. Oh, some dancing is nice, too, but not required. I had read good things about Godspell, so I decided to give it a whirl.

First of all, I’m laughing at the 70s look. So ridiculous! I know, the current look will be mocked in thirty years, but really! The plaid bell-bottoms and white-afros. It’s enough to…wait, who’s that? Ah, reading the linear notes, I see that it’s John the Baptist (David Haskell) dressed as a clown and pulling a cart behind him, singing, as he heads for a fountain in what I presume to be downtown New York. He pops up in different vignettes, only appearing to certain people. Oh, one of them is Lynne Thigpen, whom I know-one of the few cast members who’s recognizable-and she’s pretty funny. The song is really, really lame, however, as eight or nine people end up at the fountain, being baptized by, uh, John the Baptist. At first I think he’s Jesus, but then I see him looking at this other clown in the distance. Ok, I have to say, I hate clowns. Hate them with a passion. I think they are creepy motherfuckers, and whomever thought they were a good thing should be shot. So Sydney Bristow’s father (Victor Garber) as clown Jesus is just beyond bizarre. I’m still willing to give it a shot, though, if the music gets better.

What is this? Jesus leads the people-suddenly all turned into clowns/hippies/same thing-around the city, dancing and singing. Parables. Really. They are supposed to be lovably goofy, I suppose, but they’re just pretentious and annoying in my mind. I grit my teeth, assuming it has to get better, but it doesn’t. At the half hour mark, I give up. I cannot watch this tripe-it’s not even bad enough to be good. The cheese factor is high, the campy factor is not enough, and the songs are crap. I rated this a one star on Netflix, and I wish they had a zero star-it was that bad. Don’t put this anywhere near your Netflix Queue, not even if you love musicals. I guarantee that this one causes indigestion and nightmares.

Michael Collins–After You See It

Posted on February 21, 2009 by admin • 0 Comments

3:13 a.m. 6/25/26/05

Step into my brain as I watch Michael Collins. Hm. There are no opening credits. That’s kind of cool. Boy, they really jump right into the action, don’t they? There’s Liam Neeson looking so formidable in his uniform. There’s Aidan Quinn! Wait a minute, there’s Aidan Quinn dying. Wow. They killed him off early on. Isn’t he a major character? Wait, there’s Jonathan Rhys-Meyers looking impossibly gorgeous for a supposed ruffian. I didn’t know he was in the movie. Cool. Oooh, it’s Alan looking so forlorn. Now he’s weeping. Am I missing something? Wait, no, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is going to ambush Liam Neeson. Liam! How can you be so gullible? Ian Hart! How can you let him? Oh, shit! Jonathan just shot Liam!

Oh, I get it. I’m watching the wrong side. See, I had looked at both sides of the disc before starting as this is one of those discs that has two sides. One looked pretty much like the other, so I popped in the disc assuming that it didn’t matter. Oh, how it did. I flip the disc over and hey, the beginning! It actually doesn’t matter that I watched the ending first because the first thing I see on this side is Joe (Hart. By the way, how good is he that I didn’t recognize him at all as Professor Quirrell from the first Harry Potter series) telling Kitty (Julia Roberts) why Collins (Neeson) died. Once that’s done, we’re off and running.

The End of the Affair–After You See It

Posted on February 15, 2009 by admin • 0 Comments

3:02 a.m. 9/15/16/05

My mom is gone, which means I get to watch whatever movie I want again. I have duly reconfigured my queue to reflect my tastes, but I still have three movies at home that I have yet to see. These are movies that I do want to view, but not necessarily right away. However, since I have them, I decided to watch them before returning them.

First up is The End of the Affair. Now, as far as I remember, I placed this on my queue because it has Jason Isaacs in it. And Ian Hart. What I didn’t remember is that it also has the wonderful Stephen Rea in it as well. Julianne Moore and Ralph Fiennes round out the exemplary cast. She’s lovely to look at as well as being a more-than-competent actor while he is brilliant in certain roles. In addition, there is gorgeous orchestra music with a lush cello and picturesque period scenery. The movie takes place during World War II—sort of—and it feels authentic. Then again, as I’ve stated earlier, I know squat about period accuracy, so I’m impressed rather easily in that department.

Breakfast on Pluto–After You See It

Posted on February 15, 2009 by admin • 0 Comments

4:45 p.m. 5/19/06

Ok. Next up—Breakfast on Pluto. I had mix feelings about seeing this movie because it got pretty trashed at the time it was released. I don’t normally pay attention to reviews when I am actually going to see a movie, but I did with this movie for some reason. Why did I want to see it? Well, Neil Jordan directs, for one. I think he’s a great, though erratic director who occasionally indulges himself too much—see End of the Affair as case in point. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see this because Cillian Murphy reminds me of that guy from Smallville, whom I don’t find attractive at all. In fact, I was convinced that Tom Welling was the actor playing Scarecrow in Batman Begins. Even though I realized it wasn’t, I thought he—Murphy—was odd looking in Batman Begins, and this is without the scary Scarecrow transformation. On the other hand, he is Irish. ‘Nough said.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix–After You See It

Posted on February 6, 2009 by admin • 0 Comments

9:46 p.m. 7/21/07

So. On the day the final Harry Potter book is released, I am dodging any mention of it because I want to not know any spoilers before reading it. Too late as one article in the Strib online puts a spoiler in the teaser. People, please. Do me (and others like me) a favor and put all spoilers in the link so someone has to click on the link in order to read the spoilers. Is that too much to ask?

That’s not why I’m here, though. Another fairly big event happened in the world of Harry Potter last week—the fifth movie opened. As a good friend of mine and I have a standing tradition of seeing the movies in a theatre together (she also buys the books and lends them to me so I don’t have to buy them myself), we are off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Hogwarts. The movie is Harry Potter: Fast and Furious, no, wait, it’s not, but it might as well be. Harry is in his fifth year at Hogwarts, and not so coincidentally, he hits his sullen years. The book, Harry Potter and the Order of The Phoenix, is the longest by far (800+ pages), and the movie is a slim two and a half hours long. Obviously, something has to go.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire–After You See It

Posted on February 6, 2009 by admin • 0 Comments

9:44 p.m. 4/22/06

Harry Potter fans, we have a burgeoning dilemma on our hands. It started, well, really, right from the start, but more so with the latest movie, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. What’s the dilemma? It is this. J.K. Rowling seems determined to write the next War and Peace, increasing each book exponentially. This a problem when it comes to the big screen because how on earth can one pare down a tome of epic proportions to a mere two and a half hours? Well, there is more than one way, but Mike Newell decides to jettison most of the emotional tenor of the story and simply focus on the action. Oh, I still haven’t gotten to the dilemma, but I’m making my way there, don’t you worry. Here it is. The movie is a satisfactory adventure flick if you haven’t read the book. However, if you haven’t read the book, you probably don’t know what the hell is going on. See how that might be a problem?

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets–After You See It

Posted on January 27, 2009 by admin • 2 Comments

3:29 a.m. 12/7/8/04

I watched Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets tonight, and I realized one thing. It is better to watch the Potter movies long after you’ve read the books so you don’t remember what the hell is going on. Come on, Harry Potter fans! Admit it. You know it’s true. Once you read one of those books, it’s ancient history. At least, that’s the way it is for me. You have to know that I’ve read thousands of mysteries, and I can recite the plot to eighty percent of them. While I was watching HP & the COS, however, I remembered perhaps a fourth of what was happening. I just finished reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and she could have cut that sucker by half. I enjoy her writing, though I don’t think it’s brilliant, but she needs a stern editor. Also, she needs to stop her books about ten pages sooner than she ever does, but that’s an essay for another time.

Back to HP & the COS. I liked it better than the first movie. I’m trying to decide why, and the best I can come up with is that I know the characters and vaguely remember the plot, which means I have a modicum of investment in the movie. When I saw the first movie, I had never read the books so I didn’t really get what was happening on screen. This movie confused me with its scene changes as well, but at least I knew enough of the background not to flounder too much. It’s best to watch this movie without really thinking of anything much or else you come up with questions such as the one my friend asked when the message from the heir of Slytherin showed up in blood. Whose blood is it? Even when we find out who wrote the message, we never find out from where the blood comes. As my friend asked, ‘Her menstrual blood?’ As the girl (Bonnie Wright as Ginny Weasley) is about nine, that’s pretty unlikely and grotesque besides.

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