It Smells Like Wingnut in the Morning

All right.  As you know, I have followed the Mudflats since McCain chose Palin (or had her chosen for him, you make the call) as his VP pick.  I didn’t know much about her other than she had gone on Craig Ferguson’s show to grant him honorary citizenship of Alaska.  I thought it was a smart idea for the GOP to pick a female for the VP position–until I actually read up on Palin.  With the invaluable help of AKM (Alaskan Muckraker),  I learned just how inane, vapid, venal, and corrupt Palin was–and still is.  I read the ‘flats daily–still do–and once Obama won (thankfully!), I was able to put a little distance between Palin and me.  She still pissed me off, but I didn’t have to fear that she would unleash her havoc on the country.

Why am I waxing awkwardly about Palin?  Because she reminds me of someone closer to home.  Michele Bachmann–she of too few Ls and too many Ns.  Full disclosure:  I LOATHE Michele Bachmann.  I loathe her with almost every fiber of my body.   I can’t say with every fiber because I have many fibers, and there may be one fiber in my body that is dead to the world and doesn’t give a shit about Bachmann.  I doubt it, but such a fiber could exist.

That said, I have been consciously avoiding her whenever she shows her sorry ass to the public or to the House of Representatives.  Yes, I said that deliberately.  I love the phrase, “Show her ass”, and it fits perfectly here.  Her voice is devoid of anything resembling humanity, and her eyes are just as empty.  A non sequitur:  I have had many on-line discussions with liberal men who see starbursts when Bachmann/Palin appear on their teevee machines.  The common response is that they (Bachmann/Palin) are crazy, but that only enhances their hotness.  One guy explained that death by a crazy woman is better than suicide.  Another one said there’s something titillating about the thought of harnessing a woman’s craziness through sex.

I said that I get the crazy thing, I really do.  It’s like  straight women who are attracted to bad boys.  “I can change him”, so the thinking goes.  I have a dash of that myself, so I get it.  The part I don’t get is trucking with stupidity.  Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin are profoundly stupid.  To me, that’s a boner-killer.  Yes, I don’t have boner-capability, but I really am turned off by idiocy.  It fascinates me that many guys do not seem to have that same ick factor when it comes to a lack of brains in a woman.  I wonder if they are hardwired that way or if it’s social conditioning.

Ok.  Digression over.  Back to Michele Bachmann.  I wince every time I hear her speak.  From her early days in the MN Senate when  she was crouching in bushes to spy on the queer folks who had gathered at the Capitol to protest her wingnuttery (read the article) to her appearance on Hardball with Tweety (god, I cannot stand the man), she has the ability to set my teeth on edge.  

Why is it I can follow the idiocy of Palin every day, but I can barely tolerate listening to Bachmann?  Just an aside.  There is a great way to watch Palin’s speech from Indiana.  Listen to all the segments at once, and you can hear the voices in her head.  Someone suggested it at the ‘flats, and I laughed my ass off while doing it.  Go ahead.  Give it a shot.

Yes, I’m stalling, damn it.  I don’t want to talk about Michele Bachmann and how batshit crazy she is.   I don’t want to talk about how she panders to the lowest common denominator and how she honestly seems like she’s got more than a few screws loose.  I don’t want to talk about how her hubby does gay-aversion shock therapy (yes, yes, yes, I know it’s called gay conversion.  Fuck that!  Let’s call it what it is) and works at Bethel College ( to defeat the gay agenda), a place that didn’t allow dancing because it led to sex.  I don’t know if that’s still true because I don’t want to do more than a cursory search.

Here’s why.  She’s a homegrown wingnut.  I have some distance from Palin because she’s Alaska’s problem now.  Michele Bachmann is from my state.  Every time she makes the news, it reflects badly on MN.  I get tired of having to explain that her district is the most conservative one in MN.  After being on Hardball and saying we had to root out the anti-Americans in Congress, she lost most of her 20 point lead over her challenger.  This was shocking because no one expected a real challenge for her seat from the Democrats.  In other words, it’s really, really, really red.

I hate having to say that our state is better than that because clearly, parts of our state isn’t.  She is vile because she claims to be Christian and then spreads the most hateful lies ever.  She’s called herself a foreign correspondent on enemy lines; she’s incensed that America may be forced into giving up the dollar so she introduced a bill to force the president to keep the dollar as America’s currency (global RESERVE currency, Michele!); she thought the last swine flu happened under Carter (in a reality-based world, it happened under Ford); she blamed FDR for the “Hoot-Smalley” bill  (Smoot-Hawley) which two Republicans wrote and Herbert Hoover signed into law. 

Seriously, Michele, you need to stop.  I know you’re just spouting whatever you’re told to spout because you’re a Stepford Congresswoman, but it’s acutely embarrassing, and quite frankly, insulting that you are representing MN in any fashion.  This is one of my biggest gripes with the GOP.  If you are a minority (yes, I am including women), you have to be twice as devoted as the average white guy.  They will only promote the tokens in order to say, “Hey, we have diversity” without actually embracing said diversity.  This is why Palin, Bachmann, Steele, and Jindal play such prominent roles in the revamped GOP.  They are faces that don’t look the same, but they are mouths that spew the same old tired rhetoric.  That’s why the Log Cabin Republicans are mostly upper-class white guys (an educated guess on my part).  They fit in every way, but one, and if they are willing to accept themselves as second-class citizens and STFU, they can call themselves Republicans.

In conclusion, I will be keeping tabs on my homegrown wingnut, but I will be holding my breath as I do.  Someone has to take out the trash–and I guess that job is mine.