Rest in Peace?

Addendum from yesterday’s entry:  I said I would choose diversity every time.  I gave many reasons why, but I neglected to mention the most obvious reason–diversity itself has value.  Sticking with the Supreme Court, they recently reviewed a case in which a thirteen year old girl was strip-searched in school.  Why?  The school had a zero-tolerance drug policy, and another student said the first girl had prescription-strength ibuprofen on her person.  The girl was made to strip and was searched by two female employees of the school.  She didn’t have anything on her.  There was much bloviating about how this was a close call, but to me, the fact that they didn’t notify her mother before searching the girl was outrageously derelict on the part of the school.  Indeed, it seems to be mostly men who didn’t have a problem with this strip-search.  Here is Justice Ginsburg talking about that case and other gender-discrimination cases.    The male justices didn’t seem to think the impact would be much on the girl, likening it to changing for gym.  Justice Ginsburg said that while she and former justice, Sandra Day O’Connor didn’t agree on much, they did agree on gender-discrimination issues most of the time.  This case will be decided sometime in June, most likely.

See, here is a truth that is rarely said.  It is hard in general to put yourself in the shoes of another person.  If you are of the majority, it magnifies the problem ten-fold.  As a woman, I read about this case and cringed.  I can imagine the shame, horror, and degredation I would have felt at age thirteen at being ordered to strip for school officials.  The worst part is that it was all circumstantial evidence, and the attorney for the school is trying to make it seem like a ticking bomb scenario–which seems to be the preferred defense of choice these days.  

In addition, when any group is too homogenous, there’s a danger of their groupthink calcifying.   Then, the prevailing mindset of the group becomes their accepted reality, and they can’t see how life may not be exactly as they envision it.  It’s like when I was a kid, there were no Asian dolls.  Or rather, very few.  Then, much later, there were Asian dolls, but they were mostly Barbies with black hair.  It wasn’t until recently that dolls with actual Asian features became relatively easy to buy (at least, over the internet).  

Did I just compare the Supreme Court to Barbie Dolls?  Well, yes, I did.  Deal with it.

Now, I am going to completely switch topics.  

One of my favorite blogs is Balloon Juice.  It’s snarky and sassy and pretty damn erudite, too.  The commenters are my kind of people.  Except for the obvious trolls, of course.  Anyway, John Cole is the creator of the blog.  He had a post about the death of Jack Kemp, also-ran for VP, ex-quarterback, and stalwart of the GOP.   He was a champion for racial equality, partly because of his time playing football.  He saw how differently blacks were treated, and he just didn’t think it was right.  He was also an adamant supporter of tax cuts, which brought out a few heated voices on the blog.

Then, one commenter posted about Jack Kemp being anti-gay, and all hell broke loose.  Here is The Advocate’s brief obit for Kemp.  It seems that when Kemp was in congress, he was actively trying to pass bills that  discriminated against gay people.  Some people crowed over his death, and it got ugly from there.  John has deleted the thread, but it got baaaaad.  One commenter accused John of not being able to handle the truth (and no, it wasn’t Jack Nicholson) and of trying to tamp down the opposition.  Or something like that.  

I would briefly like to say, a blogger has total control over his/her blog.  Only said blogger gets to decide what is and isn’t acceptable on said blog.  I firmly believe this, so I am behind John in that sense.  It was revealed in another thread that John doesn’t allow for any dissing on his blog of someone who’s just passed away.  Fair enough.  It’s his blog.  If I don’t like it, I don’t have to read his blog.  I didn’t comment on the thread because I don’t have any feelings for Mr. Kemp one way or the other, but it got me to thinking about death and respect in general.

The common wisdom is that if you can’t say anything nice, you don’t say anything at all.   However, when Cheney dies, I doubt I will be able to hold in my relief that he is gone.  Do we really need to whitewash someone the minute that person dies?  Look at Tim Russert.  He was lionized when he died.  The more I saw of his work, though, the more I was convinced that he was just part of the whole Beltway circle jerk.  Anyone who said that was excoriated for daring to breathe such heresy.

Do we not say anything at all?  Do we gloss over the negative bits out of some sense of propriety for the survivors?  One of John’s points was that Kemp had family who would be able to see (via the internet) what the world thought of Kemp.  True.  So, should we not say he actively worked to defeat queer equality out of deference to his family?  Should people self-censor when it comes to someone’s passing?  Or should the truth out?

I am not sure.  People on that thread were talking about being happy Kemp is dead and gone and such.  Others were saying that queers were being too hard on Kemp (comparing the lack of funding for cancer with the rampant neglect of the AIDS crisis until it was too late for many gay men), which missed the point.  Just an aside–I don’t give a shit about whether Kemp himself had homosexual tendencies or not.  That’s not relevant to the matter at hand.  

Anyway, back to speaking ill of the dead.  I have to say, I can see both sides to this issue.  Let’s take Dick Cheney as an example once again.  When he dies, I am sure I will write a post of some sort.  I will probably expand on my relief that he is gone, and I will definitely revisit all the poison he has released upon this country.  However, will I crow and gloat that he is dead?  I think not.  See, in the end, I kind of agree with John–to a certain extent.  Every human being has some value to someone.   There is something in me that just recoils at the idea of rejoicing over someone’s death, no matter who it is.  It’s one of the reason I am passionately against torture and war as well.  Every life should matter, at least a little–every last one.