Since whabs is grumbling about her friends not blogging and saying we suck, I decided I would do a quick random post just for her. There, whabs. Now you can’t say I’ve never done anything for you.
How am I? Fucking sick, thank you very much. For any guys who are reading and who don’t want to hear about female troubles, go away. If you read on, no bitching about the following anecdote, got it? I’ll put a bold sentence at the start of where you can begin reading again if you are squeamish.
FINAL WARNING: Girl talk ahead!
Ok. Ladies, talk to me here. How many of you have had yeast infections? I haven’t. Until now. Apparently, one common side effect of Amoxi is a yeast infection. I did not know this. So, Wednesday night, I was emailing Kel. I said I had an embarrassing question to ask her. I described the symptoms, and she said, “Yeast infection. Common with amoxi.” Oh, really? You would think they would tell me that so I could factor that into my decision-making process. Of course, my next question was, “Well, WTF do I do about it?” Her reply? Apply plain, unsweetened yogurt, preferably organic, topically.”
WTF? Come again? I was sure she was shitting me, but apparently not. I wished I had asked her earlier in the day, before I ran to the co-op, but no. Instead, at eight-thirty, the night before Thanksgiving, I had to run out to Cub to buy a tub of plain, unsweetened yogurt. They didn’t have organic. When I got back, I checked with Kel again to make sure she wasn’t shitting me. She wasn’t. She had sent me a link touting this very cure. It has to do with the restoration of the natural flora and fauna, er, bacteria in the vaginal area.
Hoo-kay. I took a deep breath, scooped up two fingerfuls of yogurt, and shoved it up my pussy. It was fucking cold! Kel laughed and said I could warm it to room temp, but I kind of liked the coldness. It was soothing. I asked her how often I could do this, and she said as often as I liked. So, for the past few days, I have been shoving yogurt up my pussy every few hours. I get the same jolt every time, and let me tell you, it’s not the kind of action I prefer to have in my pussy.
I joked with my friends that I was going to change my FB status to: Minna Hong is shoving yogurt up her pussy. It is cold and creamy.
I decided, however, that even for me, that was too much to post on FB. Besides, I probably would have been banned for that, especially if I provided a visual aid.
OK, guys. You can come back and start reading again.
Do you want to know the worst part? The amoxi isn’t helping this time. My sinuses still hurt, and my coughing is getting worse. I have a slight temp, and I’m vacillating between hot and cold. I ache. I’m tired. I have personal shit I would rather not face. I have work I need to do. I have NaNoWriMo words to write. I also have a real doctor’s appointment on Monday for my yearly and my thyroid check-up, so I will see what she has to say about my symptoms. I am pretty sure it’s now just bronchial shit on top of the sinus infection, but we shall see what the professional has to say about it.
NaNoWriMo: I am struggling to meet my personal goal of 7,500 words a day. I know I should be happy I have 177,054 as of right now and that I have a shot to make it to 200,000, but I am still slightly disappointed in myself. Why the fuck did I have to get sick now? It just blows chunks. Fortunately, I have not. Blown chunks, that is.
Oh, and Vienna Teng is a goddess. She is Taiwanese-American like me. This is my new personal theme song. It’s called My Medea. Please ignore the video as it’s just some random picture.
I will be back after NaNoWriMo is done and/or I feel better. Or something. Whenever. It’s my blog. I’ll be back when I’m back.
And this is why not ALL my friends suck!
I just finished my Cipro This morning along with the 2nd to the last dose of Kelfex. I will finish that before I head off to The Boy’s tonight.
**slight warning, you’re a big boy, if you can’t handle reading female reality, sorry, not my fault**
My doc says Antibiotics, I say “Diflucan!” so I left the office with two pills, one for halfway through, one for tonight, after I take the last Keflex. Doing it this way has minimized the effects of killing ALL my bacteria, some of which belong!
The Boy might not be happy that I still am off limits, but I really don’t want to pass it to him, then pass it back to me and then have to hump with yogurt. That might freak him out more than just saying, “Sorry, you either glove up tonight if you want it, or wait a week.”
*end weak warning*
So get better, I love you and thanks for the blog!
Oh my god, whabs, you had me rolling with your comment. I didn’t know guys can get yeast infections, too! Humping the yogurt. Snort. I thought taking the probiotics would make me all flourishy and happy, but no.
I cannot wait to read other stories. Mwah to you, as well as hugs and kisses!
M came in to talk to me while I was commenting on your email about your yeast infection FB status. I caught him starting to read over my shoulder (as he is want to do), and asked him if he wanted to read about your yeast infection. He was out of here like a shot – and this is from the boy who likes to brag about his ‘good attitude about menstruation!’ Haha
Here’s hoping you get a better result from your Monday doc visit, and a pH-balanced vag.
Choolie, ha! Serves him right. It’s funny to tweak them at times, isn’t it? Thanks for the well-wishes for my land down under.
I’m always glad to be of service to Minna’s pussy.
Um.
I mean…
Oh, fuck it. =)
I hate that you’re still sick, though. You’re worryin’ me!
I can’t believe you never had a yeast infection before. They were just a fact of life for me for so long I thought everyone had the issue. The doctor once gave the drugs to both me and my hubby to make sure we weren’t just re-gifting it. Mom swears that her doctor finally cured her problems with some sort of hand cream.
On a related note, did you know that the bacteria that lives under your arm can’t live on your forearm. It’s that specialized. I love thinking that entire ecosystems thrive all over my body.
Kel, Oh, BABY! I mean, er…
Did you say fuck it?????
I hate that I’m still sick, too. I sounded horrible when I was talking to my mom on the phone tonight.
Xteen B., who knows? Maybe I have. Remember, I haven’t exactly been inhabiting my body until recently. I can remember similar sensations like this before, but I just never did anything about it. Hand cream??? I don’t even want to know. So, guys can get it, too. Huh. Did not know that.
Yeah, it’s cool about the ecosystems and all, until they run amok and I have to shove yogurt up my pussy. Then, it’s not so much fun.
You know that what’s important with the yogurt isn’t whether it’s organic or not, but whether it’s pasteurized. If you use pasteurized yogurt, you don’t have many live bacteria and won’t get much benefit (unless the sensation itself is benefit enough for ya).
And there’s always cranberries & cranberry juice…
Alex, ooooh, a BOY answered! Brave soul. Yeah, it’s the active cultures that are needed. The brand I have has the live cultures (I can’t believe I’m discussing this with a guy). I forgot about cranberry juice. I will have to pick some up next trip to the store.
Hi Minna, Canestan 7 day is the cure for me. Never mind about the 3 day therapy. It doesn’t get rid of the yeast infection totally. I’ve tried the organic yogurt with live cultures. It doesn’t work for me. I always get a yeast infection with antibiotics unless I take double the dose of probiotics with the antibiotics. Even then it sometimes doesn’t work. The antibiotics kill all the good bacteria as well as the bad…You know the drill.
Hahahahaha, you want to really get an open thread rolling…try describing in just ONE post what a yearly exam is all about.
Around the time you get to the part where the Doc says, “Scoot down a little bit. A bit more. That’s right, just hang your tush over the edge. Oh this might be a little uncomfortable as I insert the speculum, but I ran it under hot water so it isn’t cold.” Most guys start twitching, looking around nervously for a way out right about NOW. At around the time you describe the Chlamydia test, most men are grabbing themselves and looking VERY uncomfortable.
Sarah, thank you for the idea. The yogurt is doing ok, but not completely working. I will try the Canestan 7. In addition, the antibiotics are not actually working this time, which is a bummer. Gah.
whabs, yeah. Talk about delicate sensibilities!
The guy version is called ‘jock itch.’ M and I shared that fun once, and that’s why the mere mention makes him bolt. Can’t blame him!
Choolie, duh! Of course. Makes perfect sense!
I’m like you, I’ve only ever had one yeast infection in my life that I’m aware of. I didn’t try yogurt, though. The doctor gave me a scrip and that cleared it up fine.
Betsy, well, it seems to be waning. We shall see.