All right. I have read the blogs and the pundits (all lefties, of course) eloquently detailing what is going on with the Republicans and why they are doubling-down on the shit that got them canned en masse in the first place. It all makes sense. I mean, there are only five truly red states now–you know, red like how Rush Limbaugh’s face gets when you withhold his Oxycontin and his donuts–so the surviving Republicans are so far right, they’re in Michelle Malkin’s lap. Even Sean Hannity privately has a moment of doubt as to how bat-shit crazy conservative the Congress Republicans are. So, yes, I applaud the attempt by the left to have a substantive discussion as to the whys of the Republican hubris and as to the hows of working through/around said hubris.
However. I am not a pundit. Nor am I a Very Important Blogger. I probably wouldn’t make it to the list of Forbes’ The 1,000,000 Most Influential Liberals in the Media. Please note that several of the members on the Forbes’ list of The 25 Most Influential Liberals in the Media are not actual liberals–but that’s neither here nor there. It’s also neither here nor there that most of the people named are white men.
My point is, I can say whatever the fuck I want about the idiotic Republicans, in whatever terms I choose. I don’t have to play nice-nice, not that I would, anyway. So, to that end, I am not going to mince my words. If you want to read rational, measured responses to the Republican buffoons, I suggest you read Frank Rich, The Washington Monthly, Ezra Klein, or a million other bloggers/journalists/pundits on the matter.
If, on the other hand, you want the perspective of one pissed-off Asian American bi woman (in other words, a minority’s minority), then stay right here because I got a head full of steam, and no other place to vent it.
Ok. I warned you. Full rant ahead in an open letter to the Republicans in Congress.
Dear Congressional Republicans,
Fuck you. You have spent the last eight years wrecking our country, standing firmly behind our last president as he went on a power binge all around the world. He cut and cut and cut taxes to the rich, laughing to the bank the entire way. One would think you would have learned from your stupidity. After all, if you keep hitting your head on the wall, it’s gonna keep hurting! But no. Instead of taking a deep breath and introspectively reflecting, you have decided that what went wrong was that you weren’t bat-shit crazy enough, rather than maybe, just maybe, you were headed in the wrong direction to begin with.
You dare talk of filibustering (which should be outlawed, anyway), when thousands of people are losing their jobs every day? You pull a number out of your ass like 6 million jobs created (yes, I’m talking to you, John Boehner, ye of the weirdly riveting-albeit-horrifying year-round tan) and present it as if it’s actually viable.
We all know that you don’t give a shit about the people. What you Republicans are worried about is that if the stimulus works, you will be out of power for many, many, many, many years to come. It was the same thing you did to Clinton and universal health care when Clinton (Bill, not Hillary), was president.
Here’s the sad truth: You know that liberals get shit done. We get shit built, and we get shit taken care of–shit that most Americans care about, not that fictitious war in the Middle East bullshit or the ‘war on terror’ bullshit. You only have two ways of remaining relevant as a party–either you turn more than half the country back into fearful, slavish, blathering sheep again, or you cooperate with Dems and GET SHIT DONE. Now, the time for the former has passed. People in America have woken up and said, “The Republicans fucked up everything possible it was to fuck up. They fucked up in ways that we hadn’t even known were possible. We need to get them as far away from the controls as possible.”
So, to any rational human being, it would be evident that the latter route is the way to go. However, that would mean that all your deeply-held convictions are wrong (i.e., trickle-down economy, private market is king, giving money to the obscenely wealthy with no thought of the poor actually helps the country, etc.), and you can’t bear the thought of that.
In addition, it would mean that you would actually have to acknowledge how harmful W. and the Republican Party have been for America. Hell, not just W., it started with Nixon, flourished through Reagan and Poppy Bush, and it was only with the utter incompetency of W. that all the shit hit the fan. Are Dems perfect? Hell no, they are politicians, after all, but at least some of them actually believe in helping the little guy–whoever that may be. In contrast, you and your erstwhile leader, W., acted like a cadre of Neros–fiddling while Rome was burning.
So. It is clear by now that you have doubled-down on stupidity. Fine. It makes me, a pacifist (yes, an angry pacifist, but a pacifist, nonetheless) want to take a baseball bat to your kneecaps, but it’s your prerogative to be idiots. It has to be, otherwise there is no explaining the last eight years.
There is a difference, now, though. First of all, WE are in charge. I know it grates your ass, especially since we have a black man in charge–and a young, good-looking one at that. Oh, how it must irritate the hell out of you to have to acknowledge ‘that one’ as president. Not only are we in charge, we are pretty damn close to having a super-majority. That has to bug the shit out of you, too, because most of you are so damn used to having the upper hand; you don’t know how to lose with grace.
So, I’m putting the Senate Republicans on notice.
Go ahead and filibuster. Go ahead and vote en masse against the stimulus. Go ahead and triple down on the failed policies that got us here in the first place while insisting that it’s the Democrats who are playing partisan politics. We will pass the damn thing, anyway. In fact, I hope the Dems decide to strip out all the silly concessions they made in the first place since it didn’t do a damn bit of good to put them in the bill in the first place, and they wouldn’t work, anyway.
Just be prepared. Because if you do vote en masse against something that this country so desparately needs, I fully support Obama’s right to whistle you with a flagrant foul 2 and eject you from the game. Fines and suspensions will be handed out accordingly.
P.S. For your enjoyment, TBogg’s post on conservative punk. Talk about your oxymoron, emphasis on the moron.
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