Humor | The World According to MEH

House of Pain

Posted on August 4, 2009 by admin • 3 Comments

Maîtresse_Françoise2 All right. I have been reading my usual political blogs and watching my usual political shows. I’ve been trying to pare down, but I still want to keep up on what’s going on in the world. So, despite my loathing for the state of the traditional media, I allow myself to see clips and peeks into the dusty, musty pages of the old-school media. It is with increasing disgust that I watch the Democrats slowly crumbling under the weight of their own ineptitude.

I have a hard time remembering that the Democrats are in control of the Executive Branch (the President) and both the Senate and the House in the Legislative Branch; they sure as fucking hell don’t act like it. We have a fucking supermajority in the Senate, which means we can steamroll over the Republicans if we got our fucking act together. Healthcare reform? We could have it now. Rolling back DADT? Done. More better bigger stimulus? Piece of cake.

Ok, it wouldn’t be that easy, but it wouldn’t be the horrific agony that it is now. I have said before that I love the fact that the Democratic Party has a big tent. Truly, we are a diverse party. However, I am concerned (yes, concern-trolling my own blog. Deal with it) that the party as a whole has moved inexorably to the right. Bill Maher said a while ago (and I’m paraphrasing), “We have two parties in this country: the batshitcrazymotherfuckers on the right and the centrists.”

President Minna Hong’s Platform

Posted on July 31, 2009 by admin • 8 Comments

j0439251 Shoes. Platform shoes. I love ’em. They give me a few inches of height without being as dangerous for me as stilettos. They give me the wiggle without endangering my running ability. They add sass to my walk and a touch of jaunt to my jiggle.

Oh, shit. Sorry. That was a pleasant digression, but not the point of this entry. First of all, I got a comment from a birfer going by the name of “Jack”. I am not publishing the comment because then the nutjob will have limitless access to commenting on my blog, and I don’t want that. Instead, I will produce it here so I can point at, laugh at, and mock it:

“The time lines, places, actions, motives, when analyzed, support, and are consistent with, what is the answer to the Obama birth puzzle:

Obama’s grandmother is his mother and his mother is his sister.

Think about it. Review all the facts and claims. ”

My dear, dear commenters. Let’s all turn to Jack and laugh uproariously in his face. I mean, I thought I had heard it all with this birfer shit, but this, this just takes the fucking cake. Dude, if you’re a parody troll, then my hat is off to you because this is fucking brilliant in its lunacy. It pushes aside the whole Obama’s father is a Kenyan who diabolically plotted to impregnate a white woman in Kenya before arranging for Barack Obama’s fake birth announcement to be placed in the Hawaiian papers so that forty-plus years later, Barack Obama could hoodwink all of America and become President of the United States. It doesn’t even bother to address the whole natural-born citizen versus naturalized citizen debate that is raging in the birfer world. Oh, no, this comment is even crazier than all that.

My Fellow Americans

Posted on July 29, 2009 by admin • 14 Comments

harley uncle sam My fellow Americans. Today, I sit proudly before you in order to announce my candidacy for the 2016 presidential race (I am assuming that President Obama will win his reelection campaign in 2012). Why am I announcing my candidacy so early? Because I have done jackshit in politics, so I gotta start kissing ass now!

What? Why am I running? Well, I’m glad you asked. Sit down. It’s gonna take awhile.

Back when I first could vote (1992), I naively believed that the government was for the people, of the people, and by the people. I know! I can only shake my head in bemusement at how callow I was in my youth. I didn’t vote that year because I was out of the country, so I cast my first vote for president in 1996. By then, I was a bit more jaded. I wasn’t pleased with the two-party system we have, so I voted for Nader (after assuring that Clinton was reelected). I wanted to make a statement, but I was also pragmatic. It’s the same with the last local Senate race. I wanted to vote for Dean Barkley, the Independent Party candidate, but I knew the race was going to be close (though, not as close as it turned out to be. I don’t think anyone foresaw that, except, perhaps, for Nate Silver), so I voted for Al Franken. Ahem. Excuse me. SENATOR AL FRANKEN, bitchez!

Anyhoo, I was discouraged because it seemed that politicians cared more about politics than they did about their constituents. Call me thick, but I truly believed that politicians should serve the people who elected them. I know, I know. I was so young and beautiful then!

The Great Divide

Posted on March 26, 2009 by admin • 2 Comments

lewis_black2 If I were Jewish and had balls, I’d be Lewis Black. He is my newest political crush, and I have to tell you about it. I have always liked watching him on The Daily Show because he is so acerbic in his wit, but I also worried about him having a heart attack because he would get so apoplectic while spewing his indignation. I always wanted to tell him to calm down just a bit because I would hate to see his career cut short.

Anyway, I started reading his book, Nothing’s Sacred, expecting it to be hilarious. I was a bit wary, though, because I had high hopes for Jon Stewart’s book, Naked Pictures of Famous People, and I was sorely disappointed. I am also reading Stephen Colbert’s I Am America (And So Can You), and I am not enjoying it yet. Granted, I am not very far into it, but I’m still a tad bit disappointed.

I realized it’s because Stewart and Colbert rely heavily on their on-screen personae to make their humor really fly. Stripped of their personalities, their words are heavy-handed and overly-arch. So, I opened Black’s book with trepidation. Can I say that I love his last name? I can’t? Well, too late. I just did. Anyway, his book was humorous as I expected, but what I didn’t expect was that it would be tender and sensitive as well. Oh, sure, Lewis tries to gussy it up with his scathing repartee, but it’s there for everyone to see. He is rabidly anti-war, pro the-people, anti-corporations, pro gay marriage, etc.

I Solved the Economic Crisis

Posted on March 14, 2009 by admin • 2 Comments

wall street If everybody gives me a hundred bucks each, I might even share the solution with you.

Just kidding. I really have solved it, though. Get comfy because it’s going to take awhile for me to explain how I reached my conclusion. Make a pot of herbal tea…ooh, that’s a good idea. Excuse me. I’m going to make some ginger tea. Be right back.

Ok, here I am. Ready?

First of all, let me state the obvious–the stock market is not real. Oh, I can hear your protests. “Wait a gol-dang-minute, Minna,” you’re saying to yourself. Well, actually, if you’re reading me, you’re probably saying something more akin to, “That’s fucking bullshit, Minna.” Ah, yes, the dulcet tones of insurrection sounds mighty fine in the morning. Ok, yes, it’s night, but still….

Anyway, let me tell you something about our economy. My dad, who is a pretty big economic muckety-muck in Taiwan (and he has a Ph.D. in economics) is basically optimistic about the American economy because the real stuff is still there. We still have the land and the people and the materials. He wasn’t blowing steam up anyone’s ass the way McCain did, but his point was that our actual commodities, to loosely use that word, are still intact.

In Praise of Huey Freeman

Posted on February 22, 2009 by admin • 4 Comments

Ed Note: The Boondocks is no longer with us in the cartoon form, and I haven’t seen the series, so I can’t comment about that.

6:31 p.m. 1/7/05

aaron_mcgruder What’s this I feel coming on? Is it a rant? No, it’s a rave! How novel. How unexpected! I actually have something good to say about something for a change. What is it, you may ask? What has me feeling inspired and hopeful? Why, only the best political commentator, bar none. Who would that be, you’re asking yourself. George Will? Please. Al Franken? Ah, a favorite to be sure, but no, not him. Michael Moore? No, the angry one is not the target of my love this time. What about the oh-so-sexy Jon Stewart? Hm. Let me pause and reflect on the magnificent Mr. Stewart for a minute before reluctantly admitting that it’s not him, either. It’s Huey Freeman, a young African American boy who speaks the truth as he sees it. True, he is paranoid, grumpy, outraged at the world and self-righteous, but hey, so am I, and I’m three times his age.

Who is Huey Freeman, you ask? The star of his very own comic, The Boondocks, written brilliantly by the very talented Aaron McGruder. With his sidekick, Michael Caesar-Brooklyn, fool!-who provides much needed hilarity and his little brother, Riley, who aspires to be the biggest, baddest thug in Woodcrest-not a difficult thing in a milquetoast suburb-Huey takes on political issues with the fearlessness of Jet Li taking down the baddies in a Hong Kong action flick. He is rocking the ‘fro as he tells the truth as he sees it, and he doesn’t back down from confrontation, no matter how ridiculous or inane. In a world of bland, inoffensive comics, Huey–along with his creator, Aaron–is a breath of much-needed fresh air.

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