I don’t believe in marriage. Oh, not in the ‘I don’t believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny’ kind of way, but in the ‘Aw, hell, no!’ kind of way. As a girl, I never dreamt of a white wedding with bridesmaids in hideous prom dresses and thousands of dollars in debt. I never… Continue Reading
We Interrupt Your Daily Schedule
To bring you this important message. President-Elect Obama is going to be around for at least four years (and, hopefully, eight), fates willing, and I can write him an open letter that he’s not going to read any time. However, fates also willing, W. will be out of the public eye in a few days, and it… Continue Reading
Mending a Broken Heart (Part One)
An open letter to President-Elect Barack Obama. Dear President-Elect Obama: First, I would like to congratulate you on winning the election. It was, without a doubt, historic in ways we have yet fully begun to absorb, and I’m proud to have been a small part of that history. I have been watching your career with… Continue Reading
A Tale of Two Kitties
This is a love story about how I found my heart and soul. Since I am garrulous by nature, it will take me a bit to get to the core of this tale, but it’s worth the journey, I guarantee. I love cats. I had cats as a kid. However, I’m also seriously allergic to… Continue Reading
W. Redux (Shut. Up. Part II)
I got to see snippets of W.’s final farewell press conference on Keith Olbermann’s show and on Rachel’s show. For the past eight years, I have done my level best not to listen to a word that man has uttered because it only causes my blood to boil and my temper to rise. I am… Continue Reading
Shut. Up.
An open letter to still-president George Bush. W.: I recently wrote an open letter to Sarah Palin in which I asked her to shut up and do her job. In your case, I will simplify that request to just shut up. I don’t want you doing anything that remotely resembles ‘doing your job’ as you… Continue Reading
It’s Not Us, Sarah, It’s You
An open letter to Sarah Palin. Dear Sarah, May I call you Sarah? I feel like I know you intimately, as distasteful as that is to me. I tried my best to avoid mention of you during the election, but it proved to be futile. After all, you were purportedly running to be a heartbeat… Continue Reading
A Paean to Minnesota Winters
I love the cold. Let me just get that out of the way because apparently, this is a shocking statement. I never fully understood how degenerate I am until I started telling people I keep my heater set to 63° during the day and 60° at night. In addition, I sleep in the buff except… Continue Reading
Doggone It, Al, We Like You!
Is it over? Please say it’s over. What, it’s not over? Damn. Well, it’s over in my eyes. Al Franken, author of Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations as well as of, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right, as well as… Continue Reading
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone–After You See It
3:14 a.m. 12/22/23/04 Ok. Since I am obsessed with Jason Isaacs and Alan Rickman, I decided I needed to watch the first and third Harry Potter again. I mean, before, I didn’t recognize the hotness that is Snape-ok, that is Rickman playing Snape-and I actually thought there could be too much Snape. What rot… Continue Reading