Senator Al Franken, Bitchez!

alfranken2009smallWhen I woke up today, I had NO idea that today would be the day that we, Minnesotans, would get our second senator.  Hey, it’s only eight fucking months past the election.  What’s the rush, right?  Speaking of Rush, I sincerely hope that he is frothing at the mouth, curled up in a fetal ball, and nursing his vodka laced with Oxycontin, muttering to himself.  He’s already compared the ruling to the Iran situation, which makes me on par with President Ahmadinejad and the Supreme Leader of Iran.  If I see someone in the streets of Minneapolis protesting the decision, I am going to point and laugh hysterically.

Look, I get that it’s hard to lose a close election.  It hurts.  It sucks.  You think your guy was jobbed.  However, those of us who voted for Gore in 2000 (yes, it still stings) were told to get over it and let the nation heal.   We were told to shut up about the election and pretend it never happened.  For the good of our country.

So, my fellow Minnesotans, the one who voted for Coleman, are you going to follow your own party’s advice and move on?  Even Coleman himself said that it was time to let the state heal.  Somehow, I doubt Minnesotan Republicans will listen.

You know what?  I don’t fucking care.  Oh, I know, I’m supposed to be a bleeding-heart liberal who feels empathy for everyone.  In fact, some people (John Cole from BJ) think that if one does not feel empathy for everyone, then one is not really a liberal.  I am the bleedingest of bleeding hearts, but there are some people who don’t engender any empathy or sympathy from me.  Supporters of Coleman would fall under that category.  Now, I am one who rarely feels schadenfreude over anything, but I am loving this.

Remember when I wrote this post?   It seems like forever ago–oh, wait.  It was.  I was giddy at the idea of writing Senator Al Franken.  Little did I know how fucking long it would take to get to write it for reelz.

Senator Al Franken.  I’m savoring the taste of that phrase.

Congratulations, Senator Al Franken.  It’s been a long and winding road, but finally–finally!–we have reached the end.  Pawlenty said he would sign the certificate, and Amy Klobuchar can finally get a good night’s rest.

Now.  I need to talk about Normie.  I truly thought he would keep fighting because after all, what did he have to lose?  He has an FBI investigation looming.  He lost his campaign for governor to a pro-wrestler.  Why the hell not take it to the SCOTUS?  Well, I was listening to MPR, and they offered a reason why Coleman would not want to pursue this case any further.  First of all, it was a 5-0 ruling.  That’s pretty definitive.  It’s pretty hard to say you were jobbed when the ruling was unanimous (truly unanimous.  Not a 5-4 morphing into 9-0 kind of unanimous).

However, another hypothesis was thrown out there, and distressingly enough, it actually made sense.  Coleman was giving up this case so he can disappear from the scene for a few months before reemerging and announcing his run for governor.  Sounds farfetch?  Remember, he lost by less than a thousand votes to retain his seat.  There are many Minnesotan Republicans who are firmly convinced that Franken stole the seat.  Like I’ve said, Minnesotans are weird when it comes to electing our governor.  We haven’t elected a Democratic governor since Rudy Perpich left office in 1991.  That’s 18 long fucking years.  We vote liberally on a national level, but we vote conservatively locally.

In other words, if Coleman is not indicted and thrown into jail, he has a real chance of becoming governor of Minnesota.  Damn.  That fucking harshed my high.

Back to Senator Al Franken.

I know that many Republicans were pissed off beyond belief that this comedian dared to run for office.  He’s spent much of his career relentlessly mocking the idiots in power–mostly on the right.  How dare he think he can be a senator?  We all know the Senate is a pretty cliquey kind of place, so it was amusing to watch the Republicans get their panties in a wad over Franken winning a seat.

As I wrote before, I don’t think Franken is the most liberal senator evah.  He’s good on health care issues and on Sonya Sotomayor.  He’s more centrist on immigration issues.  He initially supported the war, and then regretted it when he found out that it was started on a pack of lies.  Hm.  The more I read, the more it seems that he is pretty lefty, except on immigration issues.  He supports full civil rights (including marriage) for queers.

At any rate, he’s an unproven factor.  No one really knows what he’ll do or say, but I can guarantee that he’s smarter than Michelle Bachmann and a better thinker.  It’s refreshing to have someone so offbeat as my senator.  I’m sure there will be days when I dash off furious emails to him because I’m pissed off at something or the other that he’s done or said.

However.  For now, I am just breathing a sigh of relief and thanking the stars above that Minnesota finally has two senators.

Congratulations, Senator Al Franken.  Now, get to work!

16 Responses to Senator Al Franken, Bitchez!

  1. Senator Al Franken. I’m savoring the taste of that phrase.

    Word.

    Now I can hardly wait for his next book.

    However, another hypothesis was thrown out there, and distressingly enough, it actually made sense. Coleman was giving up this case so he can disappear from the scene for a few months before reemerging and announcing his run for governor.

    I also think Coleman saw the writing on the wall, and used this move to give Pawlenty, who does have a political career to worry about, some cover.

  2. Greg, Rush Limbaugh is Still a Big, Fat Idiot, and I am a US Senator.

    Heh. I think your point about Coleman giving Pawlenty an out is astute. I also wonder if a little tit-for-tat was in play. In other words, Coleman gracefully backs out, allowing Pawlenty to sign the certificate without looking as if he’s giving in, and in return, Pawlenty supports Coleman for governor. It’s probably not true, though.

    Thanks! Now we are like every other fucking state in that we have both our senators working for us! Or we will as soon as Reid seats Franken, which probably won’t be until next week.

  3. Or we will as soon as Reid seats Franken, which probably won’t be until next week.

    As I understand it, that’s because the Senate will be in recess.

    Although the Senate is Constitutionally in charge of determining its own members’ qualifications. I actually don’t blame Reid for holding off until the litigation was done — if Coleman had prevailed, it would have appeared — gasp! — partisan. But after the Supreme Court decision, Reid should have seated Franken whether Pawlenty signed the certificate or not. I wish I could say I had confidence he’d have done right by his Party and your state.

  4. Greg, oh, I know that the reason Senator Franken isn’t being seated until next week is because of the recess. I also know that if Reid had seated Franken earlier, there would have been cries of partisan. You know what? So what? There are as many cries of that now. The ones on the right firmly believe that Franken stole the election. This doesn’t change their minds at all.

  5. I am sure Paul Wellstone is smiling.
    Al Franken Bitches! is right!
    Minna, I remember the first time I saw you post at The Flats. I remember watching AKM Live Blog the RNC and seeing the Vote Vets protesters that made it inside! I remember freaking the fuck out that night.
    Look!
    Congratulations on your new Senator!
    I’m so happy!
    I know I shouldn’t gloat either, but you know what? I am
    Serves them right! Maybe if they hadn’t FUCKED THINGS UP SO BAD…

  6. Woot! (As they say)

    I’m a little surprised Norm didn’t keep fighting… but maybe he recognized that he was ultimately just hurting himself (or maybe the national GOP finally decided to cut their losses).

  7. I also know that if Reid had seated Franken earlier, there would have been cries of partisan. You know what? So what?

    I do think it’s a shame that Reid seems to be more preoccupied with keeping Mitch McConnell happy than members of his own party and caucus.

    Which makes now a lot more interesting — now Reid technically doesn’t need a single Republican vote to overcome their routine obstructionism (or as the so-called “liberal media” calls it, the 60-vote requirement for getting legislation passed) as long as the Dems hold together, so any failures are going to be squarely on him.

    That is, they already were, but it’ll be a lot harder to shrug and blame the Republicans.

  8. whabs, it’s been a long, slow haul, but we are finally there. Almost. I know a lot on the right are incensed by the ‘clown’ (their word) getting to be a member of the august body that is the Senate (yeah, right), but he is a thoughtful, intelligent man who is quite serious about doing something good for the state of MN. And yeah, Paul Wellstone is smiling on this day. His seat is in good hands (well, at least better).

    Alex, more and more buzz out of MN is that Coleman has his eye on the governor’s job, so he had to bow out now.

    Greg, I don’t see 60 as a done deal, not given how the Blue Dawgs vote. Still, it’s always better to have one steady progressive vote than have to bargain for a shaky centrist or Republican vote.

  9. I don’t see 60 as a done deal, not given how the Blue Dawgs vote.

    I don’t either, given the Blue Dogs and Reid’s obvious weakness. But having the potential for 60 votes, I think, gives the Democrats a lot less cover. It didn’t matter all that much if Evan Bayh voted with the Republicans on cloture if the Democrats didn’t have 60 even with Bayh’s vote. But now, Bayh’s vote is going to matter. He’ll probably demand goodies for the companies his wife helps run, but on the other hand, if Bayh or one of the other Blue Dogs blows a key vote, they can’t blame the Republicans for the failure, and so there could be more pressure on. I just wish I could see Reid really applying that pressure.

    Still, it’s always better to have one steady progressive vote than have to bargain for a shaky centrist or Republican vote.

    Exactly.

  10. Greg, hm. Interesting. I never thought of the fact that Bayh and the rest can’t now claim that they HAVE to work with the centrist Republicans because there are 60 Democrats. Ooooh, I like using that as a weapon against the Blue Dawgs, but I highly doubt that Reid will use it. Pelosi, on the other hand, would have no problems whipping the Dawgs into shape.

  11. Or that it wouldn’t matter if they didn’t vote for cloture because it was going to fail anyway.

    Speaking of centrist Republicans — I keep forgetting there is such an animal — I also wonder if the Magic 60 makes GOP party discipline a little less effective, and good old fashioned horse trading a little more likely. If the so-called “60 vote requirement to pass legislation” is more or less a given, and Republican obstructionism less effective, maybe Snowe or one of the few others might be induced to actually support the kind of mildly progressive legislation the Democratic Senate is likely to produce.

  12. And Reagan was just a Hollywood actor. BFD!
    Gimme a break. I’m so sick of hypocrisy I can’t see straight.
    And OH!!! Speaking of kicking ass, did you read the VF article about The Gash?
    I want the NEXT issue to see how many Gash-heads exercise their incredible gift of literacy.
    Once again may I kick up my heals? This time I say as Minna says.
    YAY! Franken! Woot Woot!!

  13. Greg, when you get right down to it, you are an optimist. I find that refreshing. I hope that Snowe and Collins (law firm!) will find it easier to say, “Whatever, Mitch. Bite me.” Heh. I would pay to see that, matter of fact.

    whabs, you must never have heard of IOKIYAR (It’s ok if you’re a Republican); it absolves them from everything.

    I skimmed the VF article. I have very little appetite for La Palina these days. The fact that she is still considered a major candidate for 2012 (along with Ratface Pawlenty) depresses the hell out of me.

  14. when you get right down to it, you are an optimist.

    I suppose I am at that. I have great faith in this country and its system of government — even if that faith is that a lot of the processes are going to be maddening. (I’m reminded of what Churchill said about democracy being the worst form of government, except for all the others.)

    But if I’m going to pay to see Mitch McConnell bitten, it’d have to be by rabid weasels.

  15. Greg, I’m chuckling over your last line. I wish I had as much faith as you do in our government and our country. I really do as it would be much easier for me to deal with the idiocies of both.