Ed. Note: I wrote this yesterday. I do not feel this way today. The entry above this one discusses how I feel today–which is much better than yesterday. I woke up feeling extremely sad today. There are reasons for it, some known to me and some unknown. At any rate, I have been teary-eyed all… Continue Reading
I’m Super, Thanks for Asking!*
Hey, bitchez! ‘Sup? NaNoWriMo status update. One week: 52,540 words. I ‘won’ in a week! What’s more, I met my own daily goal of 7,500 words a day. I am actually writing about this for more than just a reason to crow. I’d had this post simmering in the back of my mind for a… Continue Reading
Broken
I waited to have sex until I was twenty. Before that point, I bought into the whole not-until-I’m-married thing. Then, as I proceeded to do everything but intercourse, I realized the ridiculousness of my belief (calling myself a TV, technical virgin in the process) and acted accordingly. I was in love with D. Both of… Continue Reading
Attention All My Readers
November is upon us. November is NaNoWriMo, which means that I will be inspired to write a 50,000 word novel in one month. I have participated the last two years, and I’ve had a blast each time. Because I’m CDO, I wrote 150,000 words the first year and roughly 125,000 last year. Maybe I’ll hit… Continue Reading
Family Matters
Ed. Note: I started this last night and couldn’t finish it. I realize that the more I unravel my past, the more uncomfortable I feel about discussing the ramifications. The legacy of my childhood: toxic secrecy. What happens in the house, stays in the house. I haven’t been to Taiwan in sixteen years. My brother,… Continue Reading
For a Limited Time Only
Ed. Note: This is a continuation of the entry, How to Make the Perfect Sex Doll. It is not necessary to read that entry first, but it will help. Guys, are you sick and tired of bitches who talk back? Bitches who nag at you until you want to smack them across the face? You… Continue Reading
Flailing and Failing
I am failing. All the brave words I have written to this point ring hollow in my ears. It’s all just a bunch of shit that I believe for a brief minute before tossing it to the wayside again. I am falling. Into the abyss, the same one where I used to dwell. Every time… Continue Reading
How To Make the Perfect Sex Doll
1. You must start when she’s young. That way, she has no comparison, and she doesn’t know any better. “Open your mouth,” he said, gripping her by the shoulders. A girl of seven, she knelt between his legs. She was wearing a white flannel nightgown that stood out starkly in the darkness of the night.… Continue Reading
Melancholy Expressed
I have been wrapped in melancholy today. It’s not the weather because I enjoy cool, rainy, drizzly days. In fact, they warm my soul, as contradictory as that sounds. It’s partly political. I have been avoiding the story about the woman who worked for Halliburton/KBR and was gang-raped by her coworkers while they were… Continue Reading
The Sound of Sadness
I had my therapy appointment this morning. I was telling her about my sense of shame and disgust over my relationship in Thailand. She asked me why I felt shame, and I launched into a laundry list of reasons. I realized that what happened to me in my childhood and in Thailand shaped my future… Continue Reading